Don’t Dish-criminate!

Equality, Feminism, Rights and so much is into the talking these days and I am not even kidding when I say that these topics are discussed on my timelines across platforms at least twice a day. Good or not? Bringing change or not to the mindsets of people? I don’t know literally because it’s quite subjective.

The world is maturing at its own pace and all we have to do is give it time. The rage might be necessary because these days a lot works out only when we take a stand, scream, try to be the change and after a whole lot of time passing with seasons, we find justice in the name of victory. We have varied opinions, it’s good to have one or many but we need to understand that they are of our own and that doesn’t necessarily make the other view wrong outright. We as humans have lost patience, consideration and empathy. We are eventually losing the art of listening, we are always ready to respond as soon as we listen to the first line with a big BUT,…. Is that necessary? A little more calm, a little more consideration brings more context to the conversation. Trust me on that when I say this for I have experienced it myself.

This “millennial” generation has grown up a lot. We have our youth who has access to information much more than we used to have in our teenage days. It’s quite dangerous actually if we look at it from the lens of wisdom and strength because a lot of this information makes one vulnerable and fragile. The more we are exposed to, the more we are tend to affect ourselves mentally and physically. Maybe, I have one entire piece to write on mental health but will do that later. Today, I just want to focus on the topic where we become better listeners eventually turning into better humans who accept, execute, improve and repeat.

For instance, I am lucky enough to have been married to a person who has the very same life which I lead when it comes to our profession while we are different when it comes to interests but we both relate to one thing the most and that is Respect, when you respect each other’s lives, choices and way of living, your love only grows. We both work, earn, spend, save and strive towards making our lives better together. When she is working late, I don’t hesitate taking up managing the household chores may it be cooking, cleaning, managing the arrangement or imperfections of the house and when I tend to get caught up she takes up the role. We tend to balance so that both of us get enough rest, peace and time to keep ourselves productive. I am thankful enough to have my in-laws where the patriarchal mindset is the last topic people want to consider to speak about. Men of the house are equally responsible for everything as much as the women and nothing is considered as on the plate of only “women” or “men”.

I don’t understand this mindset, when the women of house work, people say “Tu toh ghar ka mard hai.” while when men take up household chores, people say “Yeh auraton wale kaam kyu kar raha hai?”. This generation is not about men or women or equality, it’s all about how we have each other’s back in the times of need. Both men and women wear pants and shirts both in the house and at work. It’s not one person, we can’t survive in today’s world if we are going to work as per medieval times. Today, all we need is both men and women to fill up for one another to have a fulfilling life. We have to move beyond generalization and stereotypes, we have to understand each other as human beings who, after so much of individual struggle are trying to exist, and more of co-exist.

And while we are at it slowly and gradually, all I’d like to say is “Don’t Dish-criminate” please.

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110 Comments, RSS

  1. Akshata September 6, 2017 @ 4:59 pm

    This discrimination is really the most annoying thing- we are stuck to our age old rigid beliefs. This needs to change. Glad to hear about how it works in your house.
    Akshata recently posted…I shall rise #FFFAW #FlashFictionMy Profile

    • adodani September 6, 2017 @ 5:05 pm

      Thank you so much for the visit and comment 🙂 Yes, indeed lucky.

  2. Sheethal Susan Jacob September 7, 2017 @ 11:54 am

    I admire men who does think like you. Even when we think our generation has a lot of men like you, sadly the percent is not that great. Or at least I have felt so. When chores, household or anything are just seen like that, and not entitled to any gender and when man and woman are just treated like individuals we attain those equality we talk about.
    Sheethal Susan Jacob recently posted…Home.My Profile

    • adodani September 7, 2017 @ 12:21 pm

      That’s the point. We are eventually getting there as human beings. Let’s appreciate and create abundance. 🙂

  3. Avina September 8, 2017 @ 10:00 am

    Sometimes I feel we are moving backward than forward , see where we are now- still discussing equality and feminism as if it is 1970s. I enjoyed your post and appreciate your thoughts

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 10:20 am

      Thank you so much 🙂

  4. Sadhuvi September 8, 2017 @ 10:12 am

    Both Men and women are equal – No one is superior or inferior to each other..If we have this mentality, then there would be no issues!!!

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 10:19 am

      Absolutely, I concur 🙂

  5. Romil Kapoor September 8, 2017 @ 10:15 am

    Gender Bias is probably the most burning topic of recent times globally..

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 10:19 am

      That’s true, only if we give it time and empathy, will it heal 🙂 Thanks for the visit.

  6. Cheryl Sterling September 8, 2017 @ 11:01 am

    My husband has always done the housework because he has nervous energy and needs something to do. And I have a lower standard.
    When our children were small, he stayed home to care for them. I had the better job. It made sense. He didn’t know anything about childraising. I received some strange phone calls and I had to mother over the phone sometimes.
    People should not make judgments on other’s life style. They don’t know the situation. There might be a simple explanation, but it’s really none of their business.
    Times are changing. Society must stretch and retract like a rubber band as we adjust what is now normal.

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 11:07 am

      Hi Cheryl, thank you so much for adding to the perspective and your experience, it’s stories like these which need to come out and shared. Means a lot. Yes, the times are changing and we need to embrace them kindly 🙂 Thank you so much for the visit and this comment. Love and light.

  7. karuna chauhan September 8, 2017 @ 11:09 am

    I feel the discrimination is used in a very hypocritical way. I am a woman when it suits and then i want to fight for equality. This needs to be changed!

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 11:15 am

      That’s also a very valid point made out there, Karuna. Worth changing. Thanks for the visit 🙂

  8. Bellybytes September 8, 2017 @ 11:33 am

    Hope you continue to find time to do housework as your professional responsibilities increase. Oftentimes gender inequality creeps into a relationship because of circumstance and not intent. Your wife is lucky that you are so sensitive and progressive and supportive of her and her identity
    Bellybytes recently posted…Protective shade #ThursdayTreeLoveMy Profile

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 11:52 am

      Appreciate your thoughts 🙂 Thank you. It’s in the nature and not the environment, situations can change, nature is good.

  9. Obsessivemom September 8, 2017 @ 11:35 am

    Plenty food for thought there. If only we didn’t have forced divisions of work – This is for the man, this is for the woman – life would have been easier.
    Obsessivemom recently posted…Walks and conversationsMy Profile

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 11:52 am

      Absolutely. This post has been brewing inside me for a long time, I am glad that it has finally come out. Thank you for the visit and your thoughts 🙂

  10. Sonia September 8, 2017 @ 11:46 am

    So true.. I resonate the same feelings.. even though there has been tremendous change in our generation’s thinking, it will take at least another generation to see the difference

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 11:54 am

      I hope we learn to live with the pace calmly. Change is necessary and for fruitful results we need to be patient for anything in life. Appreciate your visit and thoughts, Sonia 🙂

  11. Vasantha Vivek September 8, 2017 @ 12:38 pm

    Discrimination is the one I hate the most. I have felt painful on discrimination on my childhood days. Keep writing. happy to join with for #MyFriendAlexa.
    Vasantha Vivek recently posted…Gratitude Turned What I Have Into Enough ….. #GratitudeCircleBlogHop #MyFriendAlexaMy Profile

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 12:46 pm

      Thank you, Vasantha 🙂

  12. Aesha Shah September 8, 2017 @ 1:08 pm

    Oh yes, men and women both are subject to discrimination. Anyone who attempts to do things diffrent;y and set a better example to the society are ridiculed for the choices they make. I agree with you. Thankfully some people have changed and hopefully that should help change the society mindset in the days to come.

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 1:18 pm

      Absolutely, same thoughts. Thanks for the visit 🙂

  13. Anchal September 8, 2017 @ 2:23 pm

    I completely agree with you. This discrimination needs to end. High time we treat men and women equally

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 2:27 pm

      Absolutely 🙂 Thanks for the visit.

  14. keerthi vydyula September 8, 2017 @ 2:53 pm

    Its admirable that your thought processes is as such! Even today in most of the households, the work done at home is considered only the job of a women. This a thought provoking post. Thanks for addressing this issue. 🙂

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 3:03 pm

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I am glad you could connect 🙂

  15. Brinda Rana September 8, 2017 @ 3:14 pm

    Nicely put Ashwini. About time we stopped generalization and start sensitization.

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 3:15 pm

      Thank you, Brinda. Glad we all are on the same page. We can. We shall 🙂

  16. Gayatri September 8, 2017 @ 3:17 pm

    It is nice to read about the spirit of equality and responsibility sharing amongst the Minnenial youth.In the cacophony of jargons and slogans, embracing the other as equal, giving space and respect (by both gender) is what would make earth a better place to live in.

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 3:46 pm

      Absolutely 🙂 Thanks for the read.

  17. Varsh September 8, 2017 @ 3:18 pm

    I’m not sure how many things change with screaming one’s guts out. The kind of equality you are talking of is achieved when both the partners feel equally responsible for the household. It isn’t a man or woman thing. You live in it, so do it. We need to inculcate these things in our kids at an early age.

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 3:47 pm

      Very well said and yes agree to everything. 🙂 Thanks for the visit.

  18. upasna September 8, 2017 @ 3:58 pm

    Hey Ashwini- You are right when you say we only need to have each other’s back in the times of need. I am glad that my Partner is supportive and do not feel that housework is only woman’s job. However, a generation before us still need to get out of that. #BioscopeReads
    upasna recently posted…My baby is growing up? Am I ?My Profile

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 4:03 pm

      I am glad you could relate and we all are eventually getting there 🙂 Cheers.

  19. ashwin September 8, 2017 @ 4:33 pm

    Yes equality is important and we have come a long way in the past few years but still a long way to go. My only problem with some of the more “shrill” feminists is that they imply men are inherently guilty and should not participate in any discussions regarding gender issues. There are times when reverse discrimination also happens. Nevertheless, we should not let these deter us. Good to read a balanced write-up!

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 4:38 pm

      Absolutely well said, yes that rage will take some time to come down. Thanks for the visit 🙂

  20. Shamik September 8, 2017 @ 5:10 pm

    Absolutely amazing post. I would say a post with sense and sensibility. Thanks for sharing your views and articulating it just the right way. I completely agree with you from the first word to the last sentence. It is all about mindset and it is nowhere written that men cannot to do household chores. I love to do it and will continue to do it. I would like to share a link to one of my post somewhat similar to the context. Hope you will like it.
    Shamik recently posted…My Love for TravelingMy Profile

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 5:40 pm

      Thank you so much, Shamik, I am glad you liked it and we can relate. Cheers.

  21. anupriya September 8, 2017 @ 5:37 pm

    With this post you have touched the raw nerve of so many women who are struggling with the society all the time. these are women who are ok with multi tasking, working outside and being a home maker while at home. But they are tested and judged at every step.
    You and your wife are lucky to have escaped such mind set. All the best to you two.
    anupriya recently posted…Book Review – The Legend of Lakshmi PrasadMy Profile

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 5:41 pm

      Thank you, Anupriya. Yes, we all are evolving and soon the world will be better. With patience. With empathy. 🙂

  22. Disha September 8, 2017 @ 5:38 pm

    Glad that you believe so strongly in equality. We need more of people like you in today’s world.

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 5:41 pm

      Thank you, Disha 🙂

  23. Tina Basu September 8, 2017 @ 5:54 pm

    It’s great you feel this way. I hope you continue to share the load. It’s a very Indian concept of “auraton wale kaam”. Division of labour should be equal.
    Tina Basu recently posted…Hash Brown Recipe | Air fryer Recipe | Vegan Breakfast Hash BrownsMy Profile

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 6:05 pm

      True, thanks for the visit Tina 🙂

  24. Ruby Singh September 8, 2017 @ 6:16 pm

    Loved the interesting twist with the word “discriminate”.
    Also I think both the parties wear shirts and pants, its all about the time and need.

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 6:21 pm

      Absolutely. Thanks, Ruby 🙂

  25. Shraesta September 8, 2017 @ 7:44 pm

    Dish- Criminate loved the title. Well written about gender equality. Much needed hot topic for both men and women.

    • adodani September 8, 2017 @ 7:48 pm

      Thank you, Shraesta 🙂

  26. Tina Sequeira September 8, 2017 @ 8:05 pm

    Hi Ashwini! Firstly, we need more men like you in this world. I agree with everything that you listed in this post – from being better listeners to the fact that we cannot live like we did in the medieval ages and it´s less about gender and more about having each other´s backs. Well written and I hope we have more and more men who think like you do. I invite you to read my blogposts at Keep writing! Cheers!

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:30 am

      Thank you, Tina. I am happy you could relate. Men are moving towards that direction. Yes, dropping by your blog soon 🙂 God Bless.

  27. Mahak @babyandbeyondin September 8, 2017 @ 8:23 pm

    I like how you have said that it is not about men, women or equality. It is about having each others’ back. Very well written though piece.

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:28 am

      Thank you, Mahak. Glad you could relate 🙂

  28. Atulmaharaj September 8, 2017 @ 9:10 pm

    Nice to see that you both are switching roles when needed. This is what is needed to keep a couple happy. Great Sutff Ashwini, BTW it was glad catching up with you 🙂
    Atulmaharaj recently posted…How to start Blogging ? Guide to get you startedMy Profile

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:27 am

      Sirjee, same here. Thank you 🙂

  29. Deepa September 8, 2017 @ 9:28 pm

    This is such a heartfelt post and I agree the mentality needs to be changed. Although there is a lot of change in our society, there are still a lot of things that need to be changed. Good one Ashu.
    Deepa recently posted…Asha Bhosle’s Birthday Celebrations with Zee ClassicMy Profile

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:27 am

      Thank you, Deepa. Yes, time shall tell 🙂 Appreciate dropping by on this piece.

  30. Amrita September 8, 2017 @ 10:09 pm

    My hubby is of the same opinion he helps in everything..Men need to think with this kind of mindset then life will be easier.

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:26 am

      Absolutely. And thank you 🙂 Appreciate your visit.

  31. Ramya drozario September 8, 2017 @ 10:15 pm

    I wish there were more men like you. Nevertheless we should first be the change we want to see in the world.

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:26 am

      I am trying my level best, yes. 🙂

  32. Hena Jose September 8, 2017 @ 10:24 pm

    Normally this topic is picked by women. Happy to see a man writing about it. I know with growing generation many men share this thought. Hope more people get inspired by you.

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:25 am

      Thank you, Hena. Together, we all can. 🙂

  33. Arjun Gupta September 8, 2017 @ 10:25 pm

    Change takes time. I wish it didn’t but it does and I am sure the world will be a better place in 50 years.

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:25 am

      Yes, let’s all be together and say Amen 🙂 Thank you, Arjun.

  34. Sabeeka Lambe September 8, 2017 @ 10:59 pm

    While talking about discrimination, it’s generally the boys that are shown in bad light.. but these days its not the case… I’ve seen plenty of women take advantage of this mindset to get things done their way… a very nice read and loved your blog!

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:25 am

      Absolutely, Sabeeka. And thank you 🙂 Appreciate your visit.

  35. Asmita Pradhan September 8, 2017 @ 11:20 pm

    I loved the way you titled this post.

    Loved this line. ”We have to move beyond generalization and stereotypes, we have to understand each other as human beings”

    I am just thankful that my partner thinks like you do 🙂

    apsster @ Little Heart Speaks
    Asmita Pradhan recently posted…Newari TraditionsMy Profile

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:24 am

      Yay. Thank you, Asmita. Means a lot 🙂

  36. Anindya Sundar Basu September 8, 2017 @ 11:34 pm

    nice one Ashwin. The more we speak about this the more we will have awareness built and the world will be a slightly better place to live in.

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:24 am

      Truly, Anindya. And thank you 🙂 Appreciate your visit.

  37. Alpana Deo September 9, 2017 @ 12:09 am

    Thats an awesome read. You said that right…its not about who is doing what. By the end of the day, husband and wife should support each other. They should be the pillar of strength for each other.

    Good to see your better half shares the same thought process with you.

    Mothers Gurukul recently posted

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:22 am

      Thank you so much, Alpana. Times are changing and so should we. 🙂 Adapt.

  38. Dipika September 9, 2017 @ 8:54 am

    You have nailed it, It’s just not about discrimination it’s all about how you help each other at the time which matters the most. And this will not happen ‘itself’ we as a generation have to pun in a conscious efforts into it.

    Loved your post, talks so much my mind.
    Dipika recently posted…Fading Muddle: Secret Affair Part – 2My Profile

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:22 am

      Absolutely, Dipika. And thank you 🙂 Appreciate your visit.

  39. Manisha Garg September 9, 2017 @ 12:56 pm

    Hopefully, someday it will stop, I hope it’s soon. We work as per our convenience I feel and speak from both sides.

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:20 am

      Absolutely. And thank you 🙂 Appreciate your visit.

  40. Iram September 9, 2017 @ 3:32 pm

    Good thoughts and I love the title .. Don’t dish-cremenate

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:18 am

      Thank you! 🙂

  41. Neha Gupta September 9, 2017 @ 4:45 pm

    Completely agree with you .. Hopefully we soon reach a stage where we stop judging and discriminating. Thanks for writing about it ..

    Neha (Sharing Our Experiences)
    Neha Gupta recently posted…Easiest way to earn money from your blogMy Profile

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:18 am

      Absolutely, Neha. And thank you 🙂 Appreciate your visit.

  42. Rohan Kachalia September 9, 2017 @ 8:15 pm

    It is the time to change the mindset of people especially of the older generation who think that some things should be done by boys and other by girls which should not be interfered into. A nice post, Ashu.
    Rohan Kachalia recently posted…A Not So Desired DeathMy Profile

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:18 am

      Thank you, Rohan. Glad you visited and commented. All the best 🙂

  43. Modern Gypsy September 9, 2017 @ 8:23 pm

    Very well said, Ashwini. I’ve never understood why people discriminate between men’s work and women’s work. Probably because I’ve grown up seeing my parents balancing the work load. And I’m lucky to be married to a guy who manages most of it! 😉
    Modern Gypsy recently posted…Monthly Tarot Forecast for September 2017My Profile

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:17 am

      Absolutely. And thank you 🙂 Appreciate your visit, Shinjini.

  44. Aseem Rastogi September 9, 2017 @ 10:29 pm

    You bring up a great point about how we are actually losing the habit of ‘listening’ and respecting other opinions. Its slowly becoming like my way is the highway and if you don’t agree, then it just means that you are in the wrong. Nothing more and nothing less. With regards to the discrimination you mention regarding women and men’s chores, I think things are changing but slowly. I guess what’s most important is that we are change we want to see. I believe that every step can make things better in whatever small little way.
    Aseem Rastogi recently posted…Emirates Business Class Review – Dubai to KuwaitMy Profile

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:15 am

      Absolutely. And thank you, Aseem. Means a lot reading your thoughts. 🙂

  45. Prisha Lalwani September 9, 2017 @ 11:17 pm

    I loved reading your perspective and somehow absolutely agree with it too!! Some one liners were fantabulous!!

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:15 am

      Absolutely. And thank you 🙂 Appreciate your visit.

  46. Alpana Deo September 10, 2017 @ 2:36 am

    Awesome post. Husband and wife should compliment each other and they are pillar of strength for each other. You said that right “This generation is not about men or women or equality, it’s all about how we have each other’s back in the times of need.”

    I am happy you have a better half having the same values and standards.

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:14 am

      Absolutely. And thank you 🙂 Appreciate your visit.

  47. Anubhuti Seth September 10, 2017 @ 11:45 am

    It is great to hear such words and especially when they come from the men of the house …just like your best half…I am a lucky soul too 🙂
    Thanks for bringing this up 🙂
    Anubhuti Seth recently posted…Happy Sunday #17My Profile

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:13 am

      I am glad you liked it. High time the change comes in slowly but eventually 🙂

  48. Diya September 10, 2017 @ 4:53 pm

    I like to blame the harmless/playful taunts or jokes that start sowing this idea of male and female ‘jobs’ in our minds at a very early stage. It happens in every household and is so common and deep rooted that we don’t even realize it’s happening. Anyway, we need more such ripples like this post has created and change will happen. 🙂

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 11:11 am

      I am glad you could relate to this and thank you for sharing your amazing perspective. 🙂

  49. Natasha September 11, 2017 @ 5:34 pm

    Hats off to you and your wife for balancing your roles well, and in tandem at home. My DH and I do the same. I feel blessed to be with a man who can whip up the yummiest mutton curry on a weekend on dhokla on a sunday evening and also baby sit while I’m out with my girlfriends.
    I think times are changing, slowly but surely…And we’ll get there someday.

    My Latest Post:
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    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 6:18 pm

      Truly. Times are changing and for good. We need more patience 🙂

  50. Priyanka Vermani September 11, 2017 @ 5:42 pm

    agreed! these are the buzzwords these days. I dream of a day where we no longer need these conversations. Equality should become the order of the day.

    • adodani September 11, 2017 @ 6:18 pm

      I concur, Priyanka 🙂

  51. Shalini September 11, 2017 @ 9:07 pm

    How true! Whenever I find my husband helping me in the kitchen, I think and feel that I’m lucky to have found someone who doesn’t think twice about such “aurat waali kaam”. Times are changing and I hope men and women understand this even more. What a thoughtful post, Ashwini!
    Shalini recently posted…My Guardian Angel in HeavenMy Profile

    • adodani September 12, 2017 @ 11:23 am

      Thank you, Shalini 🙂 I am glad you could relate. Times shall change, eventually.

  52. Ruchi Verma September 12, 2017 @ 6:23 pm

    I admire your thinking and thanks for writing this post
    Ruchi Verma recently posted…Social FestivalsMy Profile

    • adodani September 13, 2017 @ 10:49 am

      Thank you for the visit, Ruchi 🙂

  53. Pratibha September 13, 2017 @ 12:15 am

    I so relate to the fact that people jump on each chance to comment without thinking or listening. Some slack has to be given to all.

    • adodani September 13, 2017 @ 10:50 am

      Absolutely, I concur. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

  54. Deepali Adhikary September 13, 2017 @ 9:32 am

    Ahh….can you actually browse through internet without getting to read something related to this. but I am not complaining. Let it come. A long as it brings about some change for good. But more than this, it s people like you are working to bring about a change. And yes, the older mindset is difficult to change..My husband still gets ugly stares from family when he does the dishes.

    • adodani September 13, 2017 @ 10:51 am

      Totally, Deepali. Times shall change with time. Thanks for the visit 🙂 Appreciate it.

  55. Mansi Laus Deo September 16, 2017 @ 11:16 pm

    Well, I have known both kinds of men – one who believe in roles (earning bread and preparing bread) and one who believe in the higher purpose (the home, the family, the belongingness). I wouldn’t tell when and where I met them, but yeah, times are changing. And we all must be ready for it. I have had people frown upon those men who, as I mentioned, believed in the higher purpose. I feel that kind of negativity must be avoided if we want our society to continue to grow. If you have any ideas on how to achieve this, or how to better handle it without neglecting or without offending such commentors, do share them in your next post. I’d be waiting 🙂

    • adodani September 18, 2017 @ 9:22 am

      I shall try. Thanks, Mansi 🙂 Appreciate your thoughts.

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