Sometimes, it is better to express things and let it out of your system to feel better again. Today, through this post, I am trying to do that, so probably this might come across as cribbing or rant, but it possibly is not, it’s experience and it needs to be released.
If everything goes as per what you desire and plan, maybe as they say life gets boring but then if they don’t, we can’t help but stress about it and affect every other possible thing which could have the opportunity to make life better. There’s no control over not being stressed about certain things because it is our nature and while we be at it, there is a domino effect of more things going wrong. I don’t know what the solution to this is, sometimes it is just letting things be and going with the flow but patience as a virtue has its own limits, we can’t be patient enough all the time and that is alright. We panic, we get anxiety attacks, we stay low on mood for days and weeks, we don’t meet people, we can’t be happy. A lot of times it becomes a part of our habits and nature too and that’s where it gets dangerous, because it is not easy to pull yourself back from that black hole. It really gets dark in there, you know.
Life? Life doesn’t stop though. It keeps on adding more responsibilities, more targets, more relationships to maintain, more goals to achieve, more comparisons in the entire world, the pressure just never stops. What do we do about that? *screams*
Given the kind of person I have always been, I love being hopeful and optimistic about things. I take things easy to get to the solutions but after all I am a human being too. I break too. Sometimes I be loud about it, sometimes my pillows know the entire story. Sometimes my coffee cups and windows cry with me, sometimes the pages of my diary want to curl up and comfort me but then these are things, they can’t resonate with what all I feel but they make effort to make me feel better. Where else can someone run for comfort? As we grow up, we tend to think about our family the most, we try and avoid sharing things which might stress them, we don’t want the ball to roll to them and pass those vibes because we love them enough to take care of their happiness. In this process, we feel even lonelier. There’s no end to this. Is there?
You may have friends, even the closest of them sometimes cannot relate to what you are experiencing in this moment, you feel decayed, certain parts of you have already died in the process of being wise and mature and responsible and grown up and smart and ambitious and every other term which makes you appear amazing to the world. But inside? Inside we are burning like volcano wanting the rain to soothe all the pain at once. This loop seems so endless and silence covers us to the brim.
I am not sure what made me write this but I know there’s something wrong to be fixed. Maybe, I will fix it.
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