Some habits are easy to form while some easy routes taken, become habits.
I never thought that I will talk about it but somehow today’s journey made me feel that I should write about this experience. It is about the ten minute rickshaw journey I take from my home to the office everyday. Today, it was something different.
I took a rick to office which was driven by an old guy, maybe in his fifties or above. He agreed to drop me near office with a frowned face because it would cost merely the minimum fare but I assume as he didn’t find a customer for long so he agreed to consider me for the ride.
To test both our patience, the traffic and the heat added and not to forget, the rick conked off for at least 5-6 times in a mere kilometers’ distance. While it was halting at a signal, my eyes just took a glance at my own eyes in the side mirror of that rick. Suddenly the world around me paused. My thoughts took a rick of their own and started traveling in different directions.
My eyes – they looked swollen, they looked deep with unheard stories, they were screaming in themselves, they were pale, as if they have lost the shine, everything around me moved but I, my thoughts and that constant stare were in sync with each other. Slowly they had water in them, no they were not tears, it was just due to the constant stare without a blink, it was just due to the immense brightness of the sun and a little pain which everyone is taking along with them as they move on in life to survive with the help of different vehicles.
The lines on my face looked like scars, my skin felt dry and not just because of the winter, my eyebrows; as if they were birds in cage wanting to fly away with open wings, my face in all mirrored the state of my heart.
The signal lights went green and with a thrust the rick began to move towards another signal, the noises started creeping around in my head again, it felt so disturbing because I didn’t want that conversation with my inner voice to stop, it was somehow comforting me, enough to keep the rick going on endlessly but the chain of thoughts broke, I had to give directions to the driver and finally he dropped me to the office.
I don’t know how many of us spend time with ourselves, introspecting about life, thinking about how much we are being consumed by our daily routine, how much we need to balance between the journey inside out, how often we should celebrate life with a smile on the face and laughter residing in our heart.
This is not the first time when I saw myself in the mirror and thought about life to this extent, but today it was something way deeper because it forced my senses to describe it in words to stay. I have been confident, happy, motivated, inspired, loved, needed and blessed but what’s life without a few hurtful moments, a few important lessons which leave a mark on your soul and tears which make you realize that life is a fruitful mixture of wet and dry.
The monotonous life started to continue but I took time to pen down these thoughts first because I didn’t want it to go away from my mind. Hence, the post.
Thanks for reading! 🙂 Love.