What Relationships Taught Me

A very good morning/evening/night to whoever is reading this post. This is just a description of what Life has shown me and possibly i feel that this could help you in some ways even when you are at the start of a relationship, in the mid somewhere or possibly thinking to end up a relation. Not that i am an expert of something called “Relationship” but here is just a perspective which would let you think before taking any decisions in Life.
We know that the so called “Honeymoon Period” also the start of a relationship makes us feel out of the world. We feel that we have achieved everything in Life and our purpose of Life has been solved. We feel so complete ever and are in so much of rush to let the things happen soonest and we start our Life soon. Every day seems bright, every night seems so beautiful and every passing moment is just so divine that we cannot define the internal satisfaction, the security and the innocence brought out in both the persons. We make too many promises already, we take so many vows already, we are just ready to do anything for each other making the other person smile at any cost. We just want to be with them all the time, talk to them, message them and make each other feel the most special. We forget a lot of things running behind that special person which we all might have found the most common factor when you just fall in Love. This is very normal because when we fall in love we don’t realize to what heights we are going to rise.
Now after this period has taken a good pace in our Life the real deal starts. We start knowing each other and now the main hit of the relation starts because slowly and gradually the blind fold love starts taking the vision and we start taking a stand on our point of views, our self interests and a different kind of ego we have inside us which had subsided for some point of time starts hitting back when clashes happen. This is the point of time when the expectations are at the peak and we start being unrealistic. We stop noticing the good that had already happened in the past and now we could just see the bad happening in the present which is not so correct. If you had reasons to accept each other in the past it cannot change today, tomorrow or ever and whatsoever good you noticed and fell for are the things you are ignoring today which should alarm you that where you are heading. In this phase all we feel is like giving up, suicidal thoughts, fighting constantly and crying a lot. This affects a lot to our mental health, physical health and it creates a huge rock in the growth of our Life as a human being. We forget our duties, our responsibilities and some very important things in Life, some very important people in Life who were with you ever. Here is where you have to start focusing on the good and just politely try to improve on what you both are clashing on. We all know that no one is ever perfect and in the while you will try to perfect yourself you will reach a stage where small joys would leave your hand and only numbness would creep in. So not getting in to so much of negativity this calls for an improvement now, like in the present but with Love, affection, healing and calmness. We all know that love has done miracles and small things like these could easily be coped and faster if tried with humility.
While this all happens there comes a stage where you possibly reach the time nearing your marriage. You feel you have already faced a lot and sometimes you feel like if you can’t take it right now how would you manage after marriage? A whole lot of questions wander in your mind making you negative and make you think of leaving this and moving on. Also a lot of times it happens that at this point of time we already have a better person around and we get mesmerized by their qualities and we expect that if only we could have them in the one we have right now. But before even thinking that did you see that what they have, the ones you have with you, same in the ones you are fond of now? We never think this way because when we think of getting rid of something or someone, all we would think about are the ugly points and have a whole list of reasons that why they are not the worth. But here i would like to add one thing what life showed me is:
“We always think that we are getting better and whom we are with are not that perfect where the actual reality and the core truth of Life is that the start, mid and the success of the relationship only depends on you, your mindset and dedication most of the times. If you are determined, if you are in Love, if you are selfless and can do anything for them you will never stop finding the good in them. Also even if you leave that person and move on to the next person, till you have the real approach of Love and Acceptance you would end up with number of relationships with the same outcomes and uselessly spiritless feelings would creep in making you more numb and that would possibly make you lose Faith and Hope in Love. Better than changing partners, change your attitude towards it.”
To have a successful marriage we have got so many counselors these days but the real fact that only YOU can save your relationship and the fate of your marriage, your Life and your Love cannot be suggested by someone else because its YOURS. Many of the couples complain that the spark of the relationship has died, he says she has changed a lot and now doesn’t even bother. She says he is not the same and doesn’t give me time anymore. This is just one example of an argument where they feel the spark has diminished but one should realize that you are not just free boyfriend/girlfriend anymore. You have responsibilities which could make you go haywire from not doing things sometimes from each other but that shouldn’t bring you to the conclusion that the relationship is not working. We really come to conclusions so soon and make decisions in haste and regret them later. Also getting back to the same track becomes tough and we lose very special persons in our whole span of Life.
This can also be taken as when you feel that he is not giving you time, be a part of his time where he remains busy no matter but you could just sit besides him working, stare and offer him some hot coffee making him feel good so that he finishes work soon and gets back to you. Also when he feels she doesn’t care anymore for him, why don’t you just go out of the blue and decorate her room for a change, buy her some roses and take her out for a midnight drive where just you and her remain out of the world. This is just an example of things you could just do and not let very small things make you take BIG STUPID decisions and save both of you. We always know that surprises have a way and they really make us feel good and when you are really stressed even a small gesture of love can rekindle your Life, Love and Relationship like anything.
What we go through we always want our children not to go through so as you know that life moves on, we also have to move on and give them a good Life after all. So the more understanding you appear to them, the more loving you appear to them, like a clay children mold the same. If you hug your wife, your child will also learn to be affectionate, if you caress his hair, the child grows up with the feeling of a helping hand in need. The innocence in a child is something you have in your hand and when you make the most of the good things of your Life, your child is ought to have a better perspective to life and would not even think that something wrong could happen because the security you show towards each other, the child would take up all from you. 
You might be thinking that reading such things and applying things in real Life are totally different but today you have got this message and you are Blessed that God passes you some important lessons with time when you need it. Nothing is tough in Life when we are determined towards anything or anyone, it’s just the true approach, dedication and the will. So if you decide to stay with the current relationship today and make it better, do it now, act now, send them an e-card with hugs, post them some chocolates, go and meet them suddenly if you are far, just make all the possible gestures but now, like in the present because Time is anyways flying away and with it the opportunities to bring your loved ones much closer. After reading this thing if you really want to see yourself same as the people in the picture below, start working on it:

30 Comments, RSS

  1. Himani September 25, 2012 @ 6:15 pm

    Awesome is the word Ashwin. Some true facts. Will definitely keep in mind this all πŸ™‚

  2. Dishank Devluk September 25, 2012 @ 6:32 pm

    Take a bow Ashu

  3. writersrelam September 25, 2012 @ 6:35 pm

    Lovely is all I can say mate πŸ™‚

  4. Ashwin D September 25, 2012 @ 6:38 pm

    Thanks for the read, appreciate it and if you do, i guess you will be the happiest πŸ™‚ Stay awesome FR

  5. Ashwin D September 25, 2012 @ 6:39 pm

    Thanks a tonne Dishank bhai πŸ™‚ *hugs*

  6. Ashwin D September 25, 2012 @ 6:41 pm

    Gracias Swap, humbled =)

  7. Shailesh Thorat September 25, 2012 @ 7:07 pm

    I am awestruck. The future makes me think, the present pats on the back, The past was fun. Coming back to the post or a short book, if I may say, beautifully written Ashu. Super stuff, this.

  8. Ashwin D September 25, 2012 @ 7:13 pm

    I am glad you liked it so much Shail πŸ™‚ God Bless you

  9. Zeal Shah September 25, 2012 @ 7:22 pm

    Awesome & Amazing truthful reality that each 1 of us goes through in some or the other phase of life…

  10. Aditi September 25, 2012 @ 7:42 pm

    well… Good perspective ashu…
    But then I've my buts… And I'd just reserve them with me…

    As for the effort and writing… Too good… =)
    keep it up dear…
    God bless u… =)

  11. I could write a million words of human languages and seraphic dialects, and would still be lacking the right lexis to use here to comment on "What Relationships Taught Me".
    This is a huge brilliant cut piece of flawless alexandrite to shine forever as a unique star on constellation relationship.
    In reverent admiration,
    Sandeep @Howlingwords

  12. Ashwin D September 25, 2012 @ 7:54 pm

    Thanks Zeal πŸ™‚

  13. Ashwin D September 25, 2012 @ 7:55 pm

    Thanks for the read and my posts are always meant to change lives so if it could, then only i would feel the depth of the appreciation. Thanks a lot again πŸ™‚ stay Awesome

  14. Ashwin D September 25, 2012 @ 7:57 pm

    Overwhelmed is the word πŸ™‚ Stay Khush Sandeep πŸ™‚

  15. Sheila Cale September 26, 2012 @ 5:02 am

    it would be a bit callous of me to say things on something that nobody is an expert of. There is no right formula for love nor life for that matter. What works for some may not work for you. It is superfluous to shove things down someone else' conventions esp by a mere learner on love and life like me. Love can never be defined for love has its reasons which reason itself cannot define. I don't want to believe it is just a spark for sparks die down; not everlasting. So when you're in a relationship, cut out on the expectations on what should and should not be. JUST BE. and pray that in the long run, you have loved with all that you can give. and that it is reciprocated. Forever. πŸ™‚

  16. nishi September 26, 2012 @ 5:46 am

    Beautiful, poignant write up, thank you so much!

  17. SK September 26, 2012 @ 5:54 am

    Nice!
    You wrote – "We forget our duties, our responsibilities and some very important things in Life, some very important people in Life who were with you ever". This type of love sounds so immature.. but the fact is everybody goes through this (may be bad)phase. If someone is in This kinda love.. trust me the relationship will get over sooner or later & they will regret it.
    Mature love makes you wait for that person to come back from work even after years of relationship & yet you enjoy other relationships too.. different times different things..
    i think its a part of growing up..
    just sharing my dumb head πŸ™‚

  18. Abhishek September 26, 2012 @ 6:22 am

    Great work πŸ˜€ Keep it up πŸ™‚

  19. Ashwin D September 26, 2012 @ 6:26 am

    Very well said Sheila πŸ™‚ God Bless

  20. Ashwin D September 26, 2012 @ 6:27 am

    Thanks Nishi, appreciate the read πŸ™‚ Blessings

  21. Ashwin D September 26, 2012 @ 6:27 am

    Very true ji πŸ™‚ thank you

  22. Ashwin D September 26, 2012 @ 6:28 am

    Thanks Abhishek, Appreciate the read. God Bless

  23. amit kumar pandey September 26, 2012 @ 6:59 am

    got few lessions to follow….thnx buddy…as usual it's really a nice feeling while reading ur blog…

  24. Aparajita Singh September 26, 2012 @ 1:22 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  25. Aparajita Singh September 26, 2012 @ 1:24 pm

    We definitely forget the most important things required in life because of ego,anger,sadness and other such feelings! What we just need is to ponder on it quietly not being biased at all! Only if people of this time ever understood this fact they would never lose in love!
    Beautiful work Ashu as always πŸ™‚

  26. Ashwin D September 27, 2012 @ 6:47 am

    Thanks for the read amit bhaai πŸ™‚

  27. Ashwin D September 27, 2012 @ 6:47 am

    Truly. Thanks app πŸ™‚

  28. Mohitaa Raghav September 27, 2012 @ 6:43 pm

    Have you seen Step Up Revolution? There's the case of the heroine and her auditions… Same is the case here.
    Your words are good. Sentences flow smoothly into paragraphs and thoughts. Stages are depicted well. Technicalities are neat.
    Technicalities.
    And therein is my itch. This piece of writing is technical. But, that's just me. I am more of the "hit me raw" type of a person.
    keep writing. πŸ™‚

  29. Kriation Kriti October 5, 2012 @ 5:06 pm

    Really some true facts with good advice to guide…I am proud that you have put these in your writing to such a length and detail..Keep guiding us all this way…Cheers Ashi!!!

  30. Bhawani Narain February 14, 2014 @ 11:04 am

    Excellent one πŸ™‚

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